Toxic Giving
Your intention for giving is good, but you may be doing more harm than good to your aid recipient in the long run.
According to Robert Lipton in “Toxic Charity,” there are five crucial stages that likely unfold when you give to a single entity or person repeatedly.
These are:
Step 1: Appreciation:
People appreciate your first assistance. This gratitude diminishes if empowerment and self-sufficiency are not emphasized.
Step 2: Anticipation:
As you continue giving the person aid, they start subconsciously anticipating further assistance from you. Their sense of self-reliance and resilience is weakened.
Step 3: Expectation:
Their expectations increase as the dependency cycle intensifies. The recipients may start becoming solely dependent on assistance without endeavoring to improve their circumstances.
Step 4: Entitlement:
If you continue to give without emphasizing the personal responsibility of the recipient, they start feeling they deserve the aid — entitlement.
Step 5: Dependency:
At this stage, they become totally dependent on your aid perpetually. People demonize you if you stop giving at this stage.
I am a strong proponent of giving. I give so much that I sometimes get affected or overwhelmed. Too many people around us need help, but we as individuals don’t have limitless resources. Hence, we must appropriate our giving to each entity in a way that enables us to help other entities, become self-reliant and not perpetually dependent.
For example, you can teach someone a money-making skill rather than having them perpetually depend on you for money.
Note that my post is not an encouragement to be selfish, mean, and unhelpful to needy entities around you; this is simply a charger to ensure you always remain resourceful enough to keep helping and not weaken those you’re trying to strengthen.
